On New Year’s Eve I usually find myself feeling nostalgic as I reflect back on the previous year. I count my blessings and give thanks for the people in my life who make it worth living. I always enjoy scrolling through social media and seeing everyone else’s top moments of the year. But this year it felt so much bigger than that.
I felt this weird pressure about writing a New Years post. I think it’s because the year was so heavy, and because no matter what I share or write…I can’t undo the year 2020. This year was full of uncertainty, negativity, pain, grief. Many of us have probably never been stretched to the point we were this year…physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, economically. We would joke that things couldn’t possibly get any worse and then…they just would. It’s so easy to be bitter and angry with all of the events that happened (or didn’t happen) this year. It’s easy to cast blame and point fingers and wallow in self pity. I know so many people will be celebrating the relief that is the end of 2020!
But what if 2020 was the year we all needed? I know I’m changed just for living this year. It taught me lessons I’d yet to experience, it opened my eyes and heart to opinions outside of my norm. It taught me how to cope with change, disaster and the fear of the unknown. It grew me in some of the most difficult ways imaginable and I am honestly a better person for it.
Despite all the chaos of 2020, I still shared special memories with the people I love and had amazing experiences and opportunities. It was a very memorable year and my seesaw from this year still tilts in a positive direction. 2020 just had this way of grounding me and imprinting me with this permanent feeling of thankfulness…like each time I felt a setback, or saw someone I knew experiencing hardship, or my community suffering, or the country divided…I would immediately give thanks for who and what I still had…my family, my friends, my health, my job, a roof over my head and food in the house…because all of that suffering could have easily been my reality in a heartbeat. No matter how hard or upsetting the year seemed to get I was redirected to just give thanks for what was still left for me.
I started the new year in New Orleans with my dad and our friends. We got to watch Clemson compete in another national championship game! Even though we lost that game, (because…2020) I’m always thankful for the opportunity to travel and watch my favorite football team play! Clemson football is something me and my dad have bonded over since I was a little girl so I always cherish the memories we make together at games. We have season tickets and sat this year out (because…2020) but we made new memories on the couch and I know we will appreciate it all the more to go back to games (hopefully) next season!
In February, the Covid-19 pandemic was starting to warm up in the United States. I was a brand new nurse practitioner, I had less than a year of experience in the provider role, and before I knew it I found myself on the front lines of this pandemic. I was scared of the unknown. I didn’t want to contract the virus and give it to any of my friends or family. On top of that, I’m considered “high risk” myself, as I have an autoimmune disease and take a medication that makes me immunosuppressed. Watching what was unfolding with the virus all over the world and right here at home was totally overwhelming. I was suffering from major anxiety. The responsibility and pressure that accompanies a career in health care is hard enough on its own without THIS (2020, man)!
In the spring, my hometown was severely impacted by a tornado. I’ve lived here my entire life and I’ve never seen such destruction. Neighborhoods were destroyed, roads were covered in debris, some homes and businesses went without power for a week. The damage was devastating and it was so sad to see my community hurting and in so much need (thanks for kicking us while we were already down, 2020). However, in the aftermath, it was incredible to see everyone’s efforts coming together to feed, shelter and clean up the town! My town, this community, my people, they mean everything to me and it was a blessing to see “love thy neighbor” coming to fruition right here in front of me!
At the beginning of the summer, I left my first nurse practitioner job. It had nothing to do with the pandemic. I had really poor work-life balance and my unhappiness was affecting all aspects of my life. I knew it was time to walk away from this position but it was so hard to leave my patients that I had grown to know and love. I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to work in internal medicine. I learned more about endurance and perseverance in that position than I’ve ever known and that experience has left an imprint on my heart forever.
Over the summer, my mom had a major surgery and praise be to God, she made a full recovery. My dad retired from a company he’d worked with for 40 years and we threw him a retirement party with just our immediate family (all 5 of us, because…2020). My sister turned the big 21 and we got to spend some time in one of our favorite places, Perdido Key Florida, with our girlfriends. In June I turned 28 and my closest friends that I’ve known since elementary and middle school threw me the sweetest, intimate, surprise birthday party.
As the fall started, I was getting comfortable in my new nurse practitioner position and it’s been such a breath of fresh air for me. At almost the exact same time that I started my new job, I launched Happy as a Homebody and became a brand partner with Young Living. This year was the first time in a long time that I had the freedom to enjoy hobbies and authentically share some of my passions with all of you! Home became my safe haven this year and was my inspiration to start this new project and chapter in my life.
This year may have been the heaviest burden you’ve ever carried and I’m so sorry if it has been. My heart hurts for the things or maybe even the people you’ve lost. Maybe you’re still grieving this year…and that’s okay. There’s no timeline or finish line to grief. But even still, I would encourage you to look back and find the good that happened to you this year! Finding the good can shift your perspective and I’ve found that can be like a domino effect into many areas of your life. What good happened to you this year? What and who are you most thankful for? What was worthy of celebrating? What did you learn? How were you changed? And what lessons from this year are you going to carry with you into the next?
Cheers to 2021, friends! I hope it will bring you relief, happiness, health and love. As for resolutions? I’m not too big on those, because honestly it feels like we make them just to break them, am I right? But I do believe in a clean slate, a fresh start and laying the foundation and groundwork that will set you up to achieve attainable goals! Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging, friends! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the coming year! Come back to the blog after the New Year so we can tackle 2021 together!
I hope Happy as a Homebody is adding value to your life in some small way, even if it’s just a little break from the day in and day out to bring you a glimpse of happiness! Thank you so much for your continued support, Cheers to the New Year, Y’all!
